As I was getting my gear together in preparation for the upcoming ski season, I made a disturbing discovery. My ski pants don’t fit. And not just a little snug in the tush, I mean I couldn’t button them. Ok, so technically I did get them buttoned, but when I tried to sit down, they blew apart with such force that the snap shot across the room and hit the front window of the house. I won’t mention what the zipper did, but if you have seen the movie There’s Something About Mary, you probably get the drift. Anyway, it appears that liberating my kids’ Halloween candy, double helpings of Thanksgiving turkey/mashed potatoes/stuffing, and handfuls of Jelly Belly jelly beans washed down with multiple pints of Alaskan Winter Ale while watching the Seahawks have taken a serious toll on my waistline and posterior.
This rude awakening made me realize a few things. One, I really need to invest in ski pants that have an elastic waistband. Two, jelly beans are not a healthy alternative to Jalapeno Cheetos. And three, I need to make an effort to ski more often this year. With the holidays upon us, it’s easy to kick back in the easy chair and watch four straight hours of American Pickers, but doing so probably doesn’t constitute activity (though I might argue otherwise), and definitely does not help us improve our turns. As skiers and riders in the Northwest, it is our obligation and duty to get on the hill as early in the season as possible, mainly to show the rest of the country that we are as crazy as they think we are. So get your gear together, grab a friend, and head to the mountain for some turns. I will be joining you once I get my hand out of the jelly bean jar and find some new ski pants.