Ski Bum Advice: Things I Did Not Do This Season 

I don’t like setting expectations, mainly because I end up being disappointed. Maybe I should try setting lower standards, and then fail to meet them.  

A great example would be the tradition of making that New Year’s resolution to get into shape starting Jan. 1. Not me. No, I set the date for Feb. 1, knowing full well there is no way I would start to address my woeful physical condition anywhere near the time when the holidays end and the NFL playoffs begin. Doing so would be an affront to the snack food and beer industries, and I just couldn’t have that on my conscience.  

Well, Feb. 1 came and went, while dust continued to collect on the weight bench and treadmill in our basement. Maybe next year. Or the year after that. You get my point. Anyway, here are some things I did not do this season, some of which I am glad I did not.  

Skipping Work to Go Skiing  

During the dark days of November, I told myself that this will be the season when I am going to call in sick and go powder skiing if it snows more than 6 inches in the mountains the night before any given work day. Who wouldn’t want to snag first tracks mid-week when the crowds are light? Me, evidently. Nope, rather than taking a “mental health” day this past January when the snow gods smiled upon us and gave the gift of bone-dry powder, I chose to remain in my corporate enclosure and get kicked repeatedly in the nuts. Stupid responsibilities.  

Lodge Bar Karaoke  

Some folks can hold a tune. I am not one of them, nor do I plan on being one of them. In fact, it would take a bottle of Pendleton to get me to even consider getting up in front of people and trying Karaoke, so no big loss there. However, I do take great pleasure in watching other people make complete fools of themselves. Nothing says après-ski party like some dude who just pounded down two pitchers of PBR and is trying to keep up with the lyrics while singing Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now.” Mad props for trying.  

Posting Stuff on Social Media  

I intended to take more pictures and shoot video this season for social media purposes but didn’t get much. And even if I did, I’m not sure how much I would post, mainly because there is so much good stuff already out there. The posting of epic powder video and flawless corduroy stills have become commonplace, making anything less seem unworthy. No thumbs up for me this year.  

Getting an Instagram worthy lunch. // Photo by Shallan Knowles

But my favorite posts are the ones where people take pictures of their lunch and endlessly complain about how much it costs on the mountain, like it was an extortion racket run by the mob. I love these posts because of the snide comments they get: First world problem, bro. Yeah, who would have thought food would cost more in a resort setting? Dude, you’re wearing a $600 jacket. I think you can afford a $15 dollar burger. Oh, and please stop posting pictures of your lunch—no one cares. 
Brad Northrup is a former ski racer, coach, and ski bum. A GoFundMe page has been created to buy him a better attitude about social media (just kidding!).  

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